書(shū)寫(xiě)不規(guī)范
在“陶西王母畫(huà)像磚”介紹中,將西王母譯為western queen, mother of western, 除了詞性誤用問(wèn)題,此處的大小寫(xiě)也不規(guī)范,應(yīng)改為Western Queen, Queen Mother of the West. 在進(jìn)行人名翻譯時(shí)將牛郎書(shū)寫(xiě)為cowherd Niulang, 而將織女書(shū)寫(xiě)為weaving girl. 人名屬于專有名詞,首字母應(yīng)大寫(xiě),所以可寫(xiě)為Cowherd/ Niulang, Weaving Girl. 節(jié)日的英語(yǔ)譯文首字母也是大寫(xiě)的,double seventh festive的規(guī)范書(shū)寫(xiě)為Double Seventh Festival.
在描述“泛鹢臺(tái)”時(shí),有如下的介紹:南北朝著名詩(shī)人謝朓《泛水曲》中就有“罷游平樂(lè)苑,泛鹢昆明池”詩(shī)句。英譯為:Xie Tiao,… in the poem entitled Fanshui Song. Fanshui Song是詩(shī)名,應(yīng)用斜體。
作為一處在原址基礎(chǔ)上新開(kāi)發(fā)的景點(diǎn),應(yīng)避免不規(guī)范的書(shū)寫(xiě),以免給游客留下不好的印象。
語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤
在“鵲橋仙”的介紹中,有這樣的表述。“金風(fēng)玉露一相逢,便勝卻人間無(wú)數(shù)!”,一對(duì)久別的情侶金風(fēng)玉露之夜,碧落銀河之畔相會(huì)了,美好的一刻,抵得上人間千遍萬(wàn)遍的相會(huì)。As the verses goes “the meeting of a couple in love outweighs all matters in the world!” which means that a meeting between the couple who suffer a long separation aside the Way is a beautiful moment that outweigh many dates in the mortal world. 除了標(biāo)點(diǎn)使用的問(wèn)題,英語(yǔ)譯文中As the verses goes和that outweigh many dates主謂單復(fù)數(shù)不一致,應(yīng)改為As the verses go和that outweighs many dates.
在關(guān)于“西王母”的介紹中,有如下的描述。西王母,尊稱王母娘娘。王母娘娘在漢代時(shí)成為重要的漢族民間信仰,西王母信仰中包含的長(zhǎng)生不老理念也投合了道教對(duì)長(zhǎng)生的追求。The western queen also be called as the mother of western, was the folk religions of Han people at that time. The western queen religion included the idea of ever young and the concept of Taoist pursuit of immortality. 除了已分析過(guò)的書(shū)寫(xiě)不規(guī)范外,The western queen also be called as the mother of western, 這部分中的be called as…是作為the western queen的后置定語(yǔ),be應(yīng)該去掉,正確的表達(dá)是The Western Queen also called as…此外,The western queen religion included the idea of ever young, 譯文中的of后不能直接跟形容詞young,可以改為of being ever young.
在“泛鹢臺(tái)”的介紹中有這樣的描述,以動(dòng)態(tài)的泛舟,對(duì)應(yīng)靜態(tài)的碼頭;人立碼頭,風(fēng)云撲面;船行湖上,景色各異。這種交錯(cuò)的美感,會(huì)使人流連忘返。英語(yǔ)譯文為:With the moving boats and the still rock as the background, standing at the dock against the wind; looking at the boats on the lake, enjoying the various sceneries; you will surely indulge in the beauty of nature。Standing…, looking…, enjoying…做的是伴隨狀語(yǔ),和you will…之間不需用分號(hào)隔開(kāi),此處標(biāo)點(diǎn)使用的不規(guī)范性是受到了源語(yǔ)言中標(biāo)點(diǎn)的影響,可改為standing at the dock against the wind, looking at the boats on the lake and enjoying the various sceneries, you will surely indulge in the beauty of nature.
雖然某些語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤不妨礙游客對(duì)原文所要表達(dá)內(nèi)容的理解,但是這類問(wèn)題會(huì)直接影響景區(qū)旅游文本的質(zhì)量以及游客對(duì)景區(qū)的印象,在進(jìn)行語(yǔ)言轉(zhuǎn)換過(guò)程中應(yīng)避免此類錯(cuò)誤的出現(xiàn)。 |